Robin Got Run Over by a Mutant Reindeer
by Varmint
Summary: Robin got run over by a mutant reindeer. That is all. Hope you like! Spitfire, Chalant, Christmas funny things, One-shot!


**Part of the YJSecretSanta2016!** A gift for FedoraCat, whom asked for Headcannons, Spitfire, or Dick Grayson. So I came up with these:

(Hope I didn't unknowingly steal this from someone else (If I did, I didn't notice and am sorry but I think I came up with it!)) The small headcannon that when Wally and Artemis get in trouble together, they bond over their shared secret.

And that when injured, Zatanna would be there, right beside Robin, for as long as she needed to be.

* * *

Robin had gotten run over by reindeer.

As hard to believe as it was, this was the story that Artemis and Wally had given when they had brought the boy's unconscious body into the Mountain.

Zatanna had not believed a single word at first.

But Wally had continued explaining that the reindeer was a mutant one that he'd seen before when fighting his rogues gallery. The Trickster had somehow managed to get his hands on genetically engineered reindeer and had tried to use them to terrorize Central City with a Santa Claus themed caper.

It was odd that the one that had managed to escape had wound up all the way in Happy Harbor. And Zatanna had believed that Wally was lying to them. But Artemis had backed him up for the first time since the magician had known both teenagers and the story had been rather believable.

A mutant reindeer had run over Robin. And it had left him unconscious without barely a mark on his body.

The humor in this sentence was not lost on Zatanna. But she was much too worried over the bird's welfare to actually appreciate it.

Red Tornado had already treated him to the best of his abilities, so Robin lay on a cot in the medical wing of the Mountain with bandages wrapped around his head. The dirt and snow that had been on him when he entered, dragged in by Artemis and Wally, had been washed away.

Christmas day and Robin had gotten run over by reindeer.

Just... _How_ could this have happened? How could a mutant reindeer from Central have made the trek _by itself_ to Happy Harbor? And how could it have chosen Robin out of all possible victims to trample over?

Why did it have to be Robin?

It was mean... But why couldn't it have been Wally?

With a soft sigh, Zatanna shook her head and looked down at the boy sleeping peacefully before her. But... It was odd. There weren't any lasting marks on his body from the trampling. Which was odd, considering how Wally had insisted that the mutant reindeer was heavy. So, if it had been as heavy as the redhead had insisted, then the trampling should have left _something_. Even a bruise of some kind! But from what the magician could see, there was nothing.

It didn't make any sense. Mutant reindeer?

But Artemis and Wally had both _insisted_ on it having been just that.

Even as hard to believe as it was...

* * *

"I can't believe we did that."

"I can't believe they believed us."

Wally breathed out with a shake of his head. He couldn't believe what he and Artemis had just done. It had been an accident! They hadn't meant to hurt the bird boy! But he'd been so annoying... And then mistletoe had gotten involved and Artemis and he had freaked out...

"Well." The red head sighed, "I wasn't lying when I said that Uncle B and I ended up having to fight mutant reindeer. And they were _extremely_ heavy."

"I know you weren't lying, Baywatch. But we were _both_ lying about _Robin!_ "

"Shh!" The boy hissed, grabbing Artemis by the shoulders and forcing her to look into his eyes. "You _never_ say anything that might incriminate you, Arty!"

"Right. You're right." The girl agreed, lowering her head onto the his chest. The thought of this being _Wally_ didn't even cross her mind as she sought for some kind of comfort. "We'll say nothing about it. We'll keep quiet. And if the worse comes, we can just run away to Mexico."

"Mexico?"

"Yeah. Because why not?"

A beat of silence passed between both heroes. Then Wally allowed a small smile to come over his face, "You know... I think I kind of like the way you think, Artemis."

* * *

It was hours before Robin finally woke up. And when he did, it was with a groan and a moan of, "Why does my head feel like there are a million KF's bouncing around in it?"

Even though she had known that his body must have been sore after having gotten trampled, Zatanna couldn't help herself. The magician launched herself onto his bed and hugged the boy tightly, closing her eyes to rejoice in the feel of him being _alive and well_.

At first, he was stunned. But then Robin shakily raised his arms and wrapped them around her waist, returning the squeeze.

"Wally and Artemis said that you had been run over by a reindeer. And I had been _so_ worried! Red Tornado said you would be fine because there wasn't any permanent brain damage, but you looked _so weak_ on the bed!"

With a shake of her head, Zatanna forced her lips to close.

It had _sucked_ to be stuck looking down at Robin as if he were nothing more than a corpse. Even though she had known it wasn't _that bad_ , her mind and imagination had gotten the best of her.

"I'm fine, Zatanna. See?" Robin seemed to be trying to comfort. And the girl truly appreciated it. "Wait a minute... Did you say that I got run over by a reindeer?"

"Yeah." The girl nodded softly, leaning back softly to look at Robin's eyes, even though they were obstructed by his sunglasses. "At least... That's what Artemis and Wally insisted on when they brought you in."

"Seriously? Reindeer?" The boy repeated, then scoffed softly with a shake of his head. "Zee, I did _not_ get run over by a reindeer."

"What? What do you mean?" The girl's eyes widened, then Robin smiled softly at her, moving over and patting the spot on the bed beside him so she could sit there. "Sit down and let me tell you a small story, Zee."

~/~

 _"Come on, you two! You know you like each other!"_

 _Wally glared at the forest before him as he heard his best friend cackle after him and Artemis but said nothing. Artemis, on the other hand, hissed at Robin to shut up. But the bird smiled at them both, enjoying teasing them._

 _They were easy targets, after all._

 _"Please, Rob, just shut up."_

 _"Nope! It's the time for giving and I'm giving you both the knowledge that you two seem to be lacking. You like each other. I'm just around to play matchmaker."_

 _"We don't need a matchmaker, bird boy!"_

 _"So you acknowledge that you two are an item!"_

 _"We're not!"_

 _"You are!"_

 _With a fierce glare and a scowl, Artemis turned to the boy, stomping up at him to grab him by the collar of his shirt._

 _"We're_ not _." She hissed dangerously, making sure that her glare was as heated as possible._

 _But the boy had just smile up. "Did you notice what was above where you two were standing?"_

 _The girl looked at where Wally stood waiting for them. And when she looked up, she found a piece of mistletoe waiting innocently._

 _"How'd that get up there!?"_

 _"I'm a bat, Artemis. You should not be surprised by this."_

 _"You're so infuriating!"_

~/~

"And that's all I remember." Robin finished his retelling of what had happened before he had fallen unconscious. "She most probably, in anger, pushed me against a tree and caused my head to smack against it."

Zatanna blinked at the bird in stupefaction, amazed with what she had just heard.

"I knew they would be worried about getting in trouble... But to blame a _reindeer_?"

She had been forced to live through seeing Robin unconscious simply because he had annoyed Artemis too much?

"You are all idiots."

"I know, they're so stupid! They clearly like each other-"

"Robin. I meant _all of you_." Zatanna looked down at him with a soft sigh, shaking her own head. "You shouldn't be annoying them so much. They're relationship is complicated. And pushing them into something's not going to work."

"Are you so sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where are they right now?"

"They're... _Together..._ Robin!"

With a cackle of mirth, Robin smiled up at her. "My plan worked, then."

She couldn't believe that she liked this little idiot.

 **Merry Christmas, guys!**


End file.
